to take charge of the anima

I awoke to torrential rains
ate a banana
downloaded The Bachelorette
and pause.

Sometimes motivation is hard to muster
Is this a slump
I wonder how i compare
to others that is, productivity.
Some people seem busy all the time
others not so much
I don't like feeling guilty about time spent
puritanical work ethic ingrained in my being.
dictating work every waking hour.
the shadow lurks
the books call

Sun shines now.
i should reengage in thought outside
Maybe it's because the bathroom is across the hall
It's cold and unclean
I have to put on shoes to go there
and cover the seat with paper
I blame the bathroom for my hermitage
and dehydration.
or maybe its the dirty floor in the flat.
I keep telling myself to sweep
so things don't stick to my feet.
soon I will be confined to my bed if that is the case.
or maybe it is my lacking wardrobe.
I brought only a couple of items
I am tired of them
Lost one sweater, stained another
my jeans are no longer as comfy
increased consumption has that effect.
I am down to very few options
zero of which I want to put on
or maybe I lack will,
fallen into addiction,
computing and piddling time.

I will take some coffee now.