put your head in a bag

sore throat
I woke up this morning with a sore throat, tired of the responsibility I feel to post new things on this forum. I fear my thoughts are beginning to circle themselves. That in it's novelty I was sharp and quick, full of ideas. Maybe it's the case of being a one trick pony. I've investigated my issues at surface, don't care to go into depth and have nothing else to say, except to rehash and repeat, welcome to my spin cycle. I don't know why I feel a responsibility to do certain things. Growing up we were told to seek responsibility. Responsibility is good. Responsibility makes for a good person. I don't even know where this idea came from, not my family. They told me to follow my heart, be happy, treat others as I would like to be treated. The struggle for power (what did Nietzsche call it, I can't recall). Is that it, I seek power through responsibility? Are we programed this way through societal forces or is it deeper, in our biology? If I give up this responsibility am I resigning, quitting? This is seen as a negative quality, to be a quitter. It is responsibility that keeps us going, gives us meaning? Or might it be responsibility that keeps us productive? That keeps us producing more thoughts, more products, more innovation, more because if we are producing we are alive. I hold a high bar for production, even if I lack awareness of its purpose, I write lists, cross things off, try to busy myself, doing, being, producing. To be productive, awww, what a great feeling...but for what? The busy bee, the early bird, the pull yourself up by your bootstraps, the walk up hill both ways in the snow. I wonder if this mentality needs to be examined in greater detail. I'll be sure and put it on my list. However, no matter how hard I work at being productive it never feels like enough. I never know when to stop and relax, or maybe I relax too much and am not productive enough. It's quite a quagmire.